River Pierce and The Drama He Caused
by Les Papillons
Summary: UPDATE This is just a bunch of spur of the moment things involving River Pierce. May update on occasion if I get enough reviews. R
1. Autographs and An Escape

**A/N A little parody that I wrote late at night lol. It sucks but in my mind it's kind of amusing. :p Tell me what you think.**

Lily sat on a bench in the middle of a busy Roscoe hallway. She was doing what she had been doing on a regular basis since Ray started going out with Grace leaving her in the dust. She was foping, that was fuming and moping, best/worst of both world. It depended on how you looked at the situation I guess.

Suddenly the sound of blaring trumpets filled the hallway. Everyone looked towards the cougar radio booth including Lily and as the crowd of students and teachers parted, the famous or infamous River Pierce appeared.

"Omygosh, he's just _so _beautiful," a girl gasped before she fell over in a faint. Lily rolled her eyes at the girl, but as soon as River got closer she began to fall into the same trancelike state as all the other girls in the hall.

Out of no where Robbie came running onto the scene his eye twitching madly as he noticed River Pierce, the person he would do anything to stop.

"Nooo..." Robbie shouted diving in the path of River Pierce who was headed straight for Lily.

"What are you _doing_," Lily asked very upset that Robbie had blocked off her view of River's perfect hair.

"I'm saving you from the-," Robbie started to say before he was attacked by a mob of River's admirers. "Help me Lily," he yelled from the middle of the mob.

"Want to go to Mickey's or something," River asked putting his arm around Lily Randall. She looked back a Robbie surrounded by the angry River fanatics and shrugged before walked off with River Pierce. None of the girls in the River fan club noticed that River Pierce had gotten away, not even Audrey, the president of the club.


	2. Revenge and Handcuffs

**A/N Due to popular demand (and lack of better things to do) I've decided to add another chapter, whether it's any good is another story. :p**

**Disclaimer: We've been over this WAY too many times people! I don't own the show (although maybe if I did I could stop the nizzle from crashing it into the ground clenches fists**

As Lily got into the front seat of River's bright red convertable she pulled a little note pad out of her bag and put a small check beside River's name. It was her list of guys who she'd made out or dated in the past few weeks. It consisted of quite a few names already. She smiled to herself and put the notebook back in her purse as River started the engine and zoomed out of the parking lot, just as his fan club surged out the doors of the school.

"I'll get her back for this," Audrey said as she coughed a little from the exhaust fumes of River's convertable that was already halfway to Mickey's.

Meanwhile Lily and River walked into Mickey's holding hands. Many heads turned as they entered the familiar hangout. Although it was uncommon to see a senior and a freshman together it was even more amazing that River was dating a freshman when there were always a long line of girls waiting to go out with him.

"Is that _Lily_," Ray said from where he was sitting with his girlfriend Grace. Grace frowned at the jealous look on his face.

"You're stuck with me remember," Grace replied tightening the thick metal handcuff that attached both their wrists together.

"Yeah, I guess I am," Ray sighed as he looked longingly at Lily who was making out with River by now. "but at least you've still got the-," he started to say but stopped as Grace through the key for the handcuffs into the trash.

"Not anymore," Grace said smiling sweetly.

"Dammit, I guess I really am stuck with you, why didn't I just go after Lily at Soundwave," Ray said taking another sip of his cappucino.

**A/N I know it was short, but my other chapter was short and you guys didn't kill me then. Please review. **

**Keeley**


	3. Pencils and Presents

**A/N Hi, I'm back with another chapter. Enjoy/suffer. :p **

Lily walked up to Ray next Monday holding a nicely wrapped package with is name on it. She was of course, accompanied by the infamous River Pierce and they made sure to stop at about thirty second intervals to make out before continuing to walk. As they got closer to Ray's locker Ray pulled desperately on the handcuff attached to his wrist.

"Isn't this getting kind of...old...and uncomfortable," Ray whined as he saw Lily approaching.

"Love is supposed to be all pain and suffering," Grace said holding in her maniacal laughter as she tightened the metal that was already digging into his wrist.

"But sugarplum it's cutting off the circulation, that blueish purple colour doesn't look to good," Ray argued but recieved a smack from Grace as a reward.

"So, I see the happy couple is still going strong," Lily said the sound of a breaking pencil very obvious as she said this.

"Lily, sweetie, I just bought you a new pack of pencils yesterday, maybe we should leave," River suggested as Lily pulled another one out of her pocket and prepared to snap it in half.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Lily replied, a fake smile pasted on her face.

"But what about the present," Ray asked pointing to the box with his name on it.

"Oh, I almost forgot about that," Lily said, handing him the box. Ray quickly unwrapped it and inside he found a piece of spikey sandy blonde hair.

"Is this-" Ray began awestruck.

"I got it for you, it's a lock of River's hair," Lily said, smiling sweetly. All the while trying not to snap another pencil. Ray looked at it in awe, tears of joy beginning to form in his eyes. He felt honoured, his life was finally complete, and most of all he finally had something to scribble in his diary that night!

**A/N Well I'm bored, I don't feel like writing a serious fic so...this is what you guys get. hope it's not too unfunny but w/e. This really isn't expected to be wonderful. :p**

**Keeley**


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